I'm not sure if I've wrote about this obsession before or not, I forget now and honestly, I'm too tired and lazy to go back and look. So I apologize if this is a repeat obsession.
So today's obsession with telling the true story - of any story. This kind of ties into my thesis, at least I think it will at some point.
I am constantly obsessed with trying to find and tell the true story - how it really happened. This goes for just about anything that I write about. Normally it's not a bad thing, except when it comes to my writing - sometimes I think it holds me back. Like when I was trying to write about Blakelock and Mrs. Adams, I was trying to stick to the facts that are "known" and what really happened, but in doing so, it kept it at a distant, non-emotional level. And now when I look back on this, I can tell that wasn't the right approach because all of this is very personal and emotional to me, and so it was trying to put a false front and no writing should ever do that. I think that your readers deserve better than a fake story. I needed to insert myself in the story and show them why it matters to me.
I think one of the reasons, if not the reason, why I do this in my writing - trying to stick to the fact and "real story" is because I'm a little afraid of everything that I will find out about - myself, my family, friends, past relationships, memories, etc. while I'm writing it. But if I want to be a true writer and successful and really connect with my readers, I need to just let the go and be afraid, but at the same time let go of that part of the control. Let it take me where it wants, instead of trying to control everything - because you can't control EVERYTHING.
Anyways, trying to catch up on past blogs so that's all for tonight. We'll see if I can bust out a Welcome to Wednesday tonight also.
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